I pray...

I am blogging from my Blackberry right now! This either makes me incredibly cool, or a huge tool...I'll just leave it up to you to decide! But being the avid blogger that I am (my own personal blog is http://jessswanson.blogspot.com) I find this new bridge of technology very exciting. And also I apologize if there are lots of typos, it's a very tiny screen!

Anyway, I felt like a very major follow up from my last posting was due after our team met yesterday. In our very dreary and cold basement, under an afternoon thunderstorm, the team sat around a circular table "like dinner!" I exclaimed when I realized what we were doing, with one of Sarah's absolutely delicious brownies still half-masticated in my mouth. Always a lady.

Anyway, we passed around charts from last year. A huge stack from just one day of last year's work. When it got to me I said "alright God, pick me a good one!", moved my hand from the one I was going to grab and chose another. We all went around, butchered our patient's lovely Zulu names into our own unrecognizable English version of their names. We lifted them up to God, prayed for that person.

At first I contemplated saying "I can't do this" when it became my turn. I couldn't pronounce her name, and furthermore I didn't know what to say. But strength was summoned from inside, and just enough was there to get it out. She was remarkably ill, they all were. But looking at this list of symptoms, and most heartbreaking, her age- I knew I couldn't pray for her comfort or her healing in the way everyone had just done for their patient.

With shaky hands and eyes very very desperately holding back tears I just prayed for that would God would usher her to His side.

The same fate that I have happily accepted for my own life. Scares me very deeply for this woman. I've prayed that prayer a million times for myself, and through out life when death inevitably makes its way back into my life. But it's never felt like that. Never quite like that. Praying for a piece of paper. The name upon which I couldn't even read.

I will not claim that I don't cry. But I am unrelenting when it comes to sticking to my life-long identity of being the girl who slaps a smile on everything. I went through 8 years of braces, and also its a pretty handy coping mechanism. I realized yesterday that I will not be slapping a smile on this trip. These people are going to see me cry, probably a lot.

I want to meet my piece-of-paper lady. I want to pray open-handedly with her, I WANT HER TO TEACH ME HOW TO SAY HER NAME, and as the theme of this post dictates, I want to get the chance to cry with her, even better: to laugh.

She has no idea, wherever she is. But she is changing my life. From a piece of paper.

Thy Will Be Done

Today is the first day of April, which means we have officially entered the month in which we leave! I took a deep shaky breath on March 16th when I realized I had a month. But today, I embrace it with arms thrown into the air and a big smile on my face. A: because I'm excited, and B: because I'm a lot more ready now. Shots done, Letter to the bank, Scrubs bought, Gifts bought, Bags semi-packed. Oh yeah, and My Last Will and Testament written.

Mine was pretty short and sweet, a text message to my best friend Katie saying.

Hey, I need to write my will before I go to South Africa. This is it: If I die, you get my Mac. Save this text.

Oh, the epitome of lame. I know. But the thing is I don't have that much to leave behind. With the exception of my small amount of Credit Card Debt, and my very expensive laptop...which has been known to help Katie out with her Teaching Homework for OU.

It's not that I don't take death seriously, or think that I am invincible. It's just that I'm really not that scared of it. If I die, I go home. To be with God, my maker and all of those who came before me. I'm pretty fierce about guarding the ones I love, and loving them way too much here on earth. So I can only imagine I would make a formidable Guardian Angel.

But in all seriousness, I trust God.

It's a heavy statement. Try saying it out loud. I trust God. And when he wants me where he wants me I will go. Faithfully. Fearlessly. Even out of this world.

Maybe, its the Easter season. Maybe it's my limited knowledge of the Bible. But I am posting from the Message version of John 14:1-7.

Don't let this throw you. You trust God, don't you? Trust me. There is plenty of room for you in my Father's home. If that weren't so, would I have told you that I'm on my way to get a room ready for you? And if I'm on my way to get your room ready, I'll come back and get you so you can live where I live. And you already know the road I'm taking."

5Thomas said, "Master, we have no idea where you're going. How do you expect us to know the road?"

6-7Jesus said, "I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. No one gets to the Father apart from me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him. You've even seen him!"

So anyway, the point of today's post: Write Your Will! and Happy Easter :)

"Enlarge my Faith"

I'm a bit of note-taker. It helps me take things in, and apply them later in life when I really need them.

Our team met yesterday, and sat down and talked about the future of our trip. One of the things that Sharon said I found particularly note worthy was the concept of "Enlarge my Faith". Father God, put a huge obstacle in our way, and help us to overcome it proving once again that nothing is greater than You. Thus our faith is restored.

We're still going to go, and do the things we set out to do. Taking good use of the strength and courage we've been given; and also downsizing our luggage capacity just a tad.

I'm quite sure Peter says it best.

4:(12) Dear Friends do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering as though something strange were happening to you. (13) But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

(15) If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. (16) However if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.

(19) So then those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

It's long, but incredibly lovely and inspirational. I've always thought that overcoming hurdles is a very unique way to get close to someone. Our team together deciding to address this hurdle with our great Faith allows for incredible closeness. There was a great energy while our little group packed Meds and prayed yesterday, and it will serve us well in the time to come.

Adversity.

The day I decided to go to South Africa was also one of the worst days of my life. Waking up angry, to getting to a point where I was so ridden with anger, frustration and sorrow I could barely handle sitting in my own skin. Looking back I also see it as a day God intervened to help one of His children with a momentarily broken soul.

Not only did He send this opportunity my way, by what felt like complete chance, He took care of a lot of my hurdles. Being able to take all of my exams early, the fact that school ends the day before we leave, getting the time covered from work, and that one last plane ticket that happened to be reserved. From day one, I have felt like this is my way to serve God- because He told me so.

So I thought that was it. All my obstacles were taken care of, I am going to South Africa!

For a long time I have been thinking that this trip has been something to help save me. I didn't realize until today (and a lot of thinking) that REALLY it has been something to challenge me.

I still believe God put me on this path, but I'm going to have to fight to stay on it. Fight with Love, Faith, Prayer and Hope. We all have to.

We spoke about adversity in each of our own lives at our last meeting. In moments of bringing some of our fears and challenges to the surface, our seemingly small team got that much closer. Now we face adversity as a team, in an unexpected way that has potential to powerfully change our trip.

I recieved the following email from Sarah today:

Hello all!

As you know, our medical mission trip to eSikhawini, SA is scheduled to go April 16th to May 2nd this year. As you also know, we have, for the past 6 years, been invited and welcomed by the medical community in the area to come and conduct our clinics. This year, a new individual is overseeing the medical community in the area. So far, our request for permission to come has been met with silence. Today, we received word that our request will most likely be denied. The Mafus are hoping to speak with the individual directly very soon. In the meantime they have asked for our prayers. So please, take a few moments in the next hours/days and lift these prayers to God:

1) That our request to provide medical care to the people in eSikhawini will be granted.


2) That we will find favor with the new leaders of the medical community there.


3) That if the door closes through which we have been invited the past several years, a new door will be opened.


4) That the hearts of those making the decisions will be softened and their minds opened.


5) That God's will be done, whatever that may be.....

Team, Sharon and I do not have many answers right now. What we know, is that we cannot control anything happening in SA. But what we also know, is that our God is a BIG God, and He can do all things. We will keep you all updated as soon as we know anything. For now, we are planning to go as scheduled. Let's pray believing that will be the case!

Thanks, all.

Sarah


Adversity will always be there. We were made to climb, and part of that beauty is that there will always be more mountains. It is one more way we are called upon to apply the Love, Hope and our the Spiritual Strength that we've been given. Please help us by coming together and praying for these things.

2010.

Without an update in a sad 11 months, there is new news for 2010.

First of all an intro, I'm Jessica...and I am the "designated blogger" for this year's trip. I accidentally stumbled upon this trip in February. I'm a nursing student at OU and this is my first experience with a mission trip AND going to South Africa. So my postings will be primarily conjecture until we make the big trip in...41 days!

We've gotten a bit of a late start this year, for reason's no one has really been able to pinpoint, and with a smaller team than usual..but we feel our team is divinely created for a unique trip this year.

I hope you will enjoy taking this journey with me :)